Thursday, April 16, 2009
so tired
THis 2 weeks had been my worst week of my live. First i had to get a new lappy as my previous one's motherboard died!!!It died with all my THESIS!!!I was so freak out and shock that i just sit there stunt. Ok, then i had to rush my thesis in like 7 hours. And i did that, went to school hand it up done. But my insomnia was kicking in and i still can hardly sleep as i know all my 8 assignments is like gone with the wind. Carried my baby to the hp centre and they say they needed a week to get new parts.
Ok i accepted a week but i had to redo all my assignment which was like due the following week which means 2 more days. There i go mad again. I had to get a new lappy. Then i got a new baby and tht night, the Anugerah Sukan dinner i got my lappy for the gold medal in MASUM. THis is like, hello, i ask for that for a long time and u did not give it to me until i got myself a new one. So yea...now i have 3 lappy. Dui..dogok o.
Planning to hand that lappy to mum and dad. Ok still no sleeping. And guess what, live was not miserable enough when my phone got stolen on Sunday!! Its like a lorry came crushing on my head. Search for it quite awhile but that pathetique person is really good a stealing. There goes my phone. My worst nightmare. That same day , mum had to get me a new one and tht day i lost the phone my dad bought me which is good as it is a naviagator and i lost my precious clover from m 21st birthday.
Well, live is not that good heh...sigh...sometime i get really tired with all those trials. By the way will have to study now. Exam coming soon ...i need time for my thesis.
Monday, March 30, 2009
ISFJ
The Nurturer
Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
, kind, and conscientious. Can be depended on to follow through. Usually puts the needs of others above their own needs. Stable and practical, they value security and traditions. Well-developed sense of space and function. Rich inner world of observations about people. Extremely perceptive of other's feelings. Interested in serving others Meet ISFJs
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.
ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.
ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.
ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.
ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.
The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.
More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.
Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.
The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.
ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".
The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.
ISFJ Strengths
● Warm, friendly and affirming by nature
● Service-oriented, wanting to please others
● Good listeners
● Will put forth lots of effort to fulfill their duties and obligations
● Excellent organizational capabilities
● Good at taking care of practical matters and daily needs
● Usually good (albeit conservative) at handling money
● Take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
ISFJ Weaknesses
● Don't pay enough attention to their own needs
● May have difficulty branching out into new territory
● Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
● Unlikely to express their needs, which may cause pent-up frustrations to build inside
● Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
● Have difficulty moving on after the end of a relationship
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Depression??
| Disorder | Your Score |
|---|---|
| Major Depression: | Very High |
| Dysthymia: | High |
| Bipolar Disorder: | Slight |
| Cyclothymia: | High-Moderate |
| Seasonal Affective Disorder: | Slight-Moderate |
| Postpartum Depression: | N/A |
| Take the Depression Test | |
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Eien - Yuusaku Kiyama
僕は何も言えないまま君を抱きしめた
約束出来る未来なんてたった一つも見せられない
こんな僕なんてきっと君に似合わない
なのにどうして楽しそうな笑顔で側にいてくれるの
何故僕なんだろう?きっと答えは無いんだろう
怖くないと君は言う 怖くないわけないのに
未来の無い僕等は今 現在(いま)を抱きしめた
時代の所為にしたくはない
だけどどうにもならない事ばかりで
嫌になっちゃうよ ずっと変わらないのかな
これでいいと君は言う これでいいわけないのに
何も望まないって言うから僕は嬉しい 苦しい
暮らしに追われたって少しくらい夢みて愛を語ってもいいよね
そんな事さえ忘れてた暗がりに光をくれた
だから君に今日は言うよ 永遠の愛を誓うよ
泣いてないと君は言う その答えが震えている
無防備な君を僕が守るよ未来も無い二人が今 永遠(とわ)を抱きしめた
naite nai to kimi wa iu sono kotae ga furue te iru
boku wa nani mo ienai mama kimi o dakishimeta
yakusoku dekiru mirai nante tatta hitotsu mo miserarenai
konna boku nante kitto kitto kimi ni niawanai
na no ni doushite tanoshisou na egao de soba ni itekureru no
naze boku nan darou? kitto kitto kotae wa naindarou
kowaku naito kimi wa iu kowaku nandake nai no ni
mirai no nai bokura ha ima genzai (ima) o dakishimeta
jidai no sei ni shitakuwanai
dakedo dou ni mo naranai koto bakari de
iya ni nacchau yo zutto zutto kawaranai no kana
kore de ii to kimi wa iu kore de iiwakenai no ni
nani mo nozomanaitte iu kara boku wa ureshii kurushii
kurashi ni owaretatte sukoshi kurai yume mite ai o katatte mo ii yo ne
sonna koto sae wasureteta kuragari ni hikari o kureta
dakara kimi ni kyou wa iu yo eien no ai o chikau yo
naitenai to kimi wa iu sono kotae ga furueteiru
muboubi na kimi o boku ga mamoru yo mirai mo nai futari ga ima eien (towa) wo dakishimeta
Monday, March 9, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
たすけて ください!
d^ - ^b

就算我們日後分了手 也別再見面了
就算我們日後分了手 也別再愛別人了
萬一我們分手了 也不要哭泣
因為聽說要離別的時候 哭得很傷心的人
是無法再見面的

和你分手了 仙人掌枯萎了
那可是一株不澆水也會活得很好 甚至還會開花的傢伙
但 從一邊開始慢慢染上了病
後來用手一碰 一下就掉了
我啊 想要全部忘記
但是 今天似乎整天都開著收音機……
好 我會幸福的
你 就幸福一半吧!
Monday, February 16, 2009
thoughts & ponder
A person who usually call others a bitch is a bitch themselves. Bitch id define as below:
- A female canine animal, especially a dog.
- Offensive.
- A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.
- A lewd woman.
- A man considered to be weak or contemptible.
- Slang. A complaint.
- Slang. Something very unpleasant or difficult.
v. Slang., bitched, bitch·ing, bitch·es. v.intr.
To complain; grumble.
v.tr.To botch; bungle. Often used with up.
This term is frequently used as a term for a malicious, spiteful, domineering, intrusive, or unpleasant person, especially a woman --> wikipedia.
LOL~~it actually make sense. We humans sometimes find it hard to differentiate each other. However, example, female dogs, they seem to be able to identify other bitch. From my perspective, people who tend to used this kind of term are some immature kids between 12 to 17, if westerners, i think under the age of 12 too. Or else, really pissed off women fighting or quarreling with another pissed off women. Jealous women or girls too. And when men scolded or criticize women or girls they despise. Well however, i am sure it is used in many ways. Just something that past through my thoughts when i was reading that book. LOL~~ thank God i dun usually call people bitch. Its quite lowly actually. But sometimes it just seems to blurt out of one's mouth. Next time if i accidentally blurt it out, i will reconsider. LOL~~no offense please, just a random thought.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
From Christie
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!
IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Here by Me - 3 Doors down
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Day Past A Child - Christopher Jak
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
My Love (Feat. T.I) - Justin Timberlake
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
You're beautiful - James Blunt
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Rule the World - Take That
WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
What a Girl Wants - Christina Aguilera
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Irreplaceable - Beyonce
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Lauryn Hill
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Say Cheese - KC
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Like I Love You - Justin Timberlake
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Love Song - Sara Bareilles
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
I Finally Found Someone - Bryan Adams & Barbara Streisand
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Knocks off My Feet - Tevin Campbell
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Runaway - The Corrs
WHAT WILL/DID YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Too Much Heaven - Bee Gees
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Could i Have This Kiss Forever - Whitney Houston & Enrique Iglesias
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Wine Up - Kat Deluna ft Elephant Man
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
This is How You Remind Me - Nickelback
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Straight Lines - Silverchair
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Smack That - Akon Eminem
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Home - Chris Daughtry
p/s: Tie...i actually found songs that i seldom hear but is in the hard disc. LOL~~
Some weird poem
Sharon Olds
How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health—just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
bored
There you go. A need to write out what I am thinking. The "I am BUSY" becomes my slogan or motto now. I am actually that busy and tired that I do not have any time to train or hang out with friends as usual. My time management sux. Everything is a rush. Studies, revisions, assignments, thesis, and so on becomes my daily life. Most of my time i spent in uni. Earliest would be like 6.50am then all the way to 5.00pm. Reach home rest awhile then study again or revision or read or anything as long as i do not have time.
I thought of the past years. Last year was a pleasant but horrid year too for me. When friends turned out not to be the friends you expected, where back-stabbers and hypocrites exist in any relationship be it love, friends, family, etc. Where self-esteem is totally hancur, confidence and all those. When i finally come out from my shell i am then force to be my usual introvert behavior again. Confidence also gone. Self-conscious is strongly affecting me and so on. Thinks I wanna say but no one could understand and the thought of burdening people with all my problem is not helping either. Sometimes i get tired of life.
When a friend do not treat you as a friend anymore or maybe never actually treated you as one, just to draw on attention and so on, a person will actually feel used. When the thought of finally being needed is actually a lie, it shattered everything. Why cannot people be honest and straight-forward? why people cannot just get straight to the point? Why is sincerity and integrity extinct from the world? I actually thought of crying but when one does not even have the energy to cry or think anymore, the head/brain is actually blank. And then self-entertainment which means laughing and smiling a lot just to hide the sorrow, sadness, loneliness or whatever is a natural action to prevent people from seeing through its weakness. Thats me nowadays.
I made myself busier now by actually taking an audit course. And then today i finally decided to change the audit course into and elective course which means over limit of credit hours. 24 credit hours this semester. What am i doing also i am not sure. As long as my mind do not wonders anything will do. However I just wanna apologize if i keep refusing to join my friends in any outings because I'm really tired and the lack of mood is not there. I have not the enough time to spare. After failure in a lot of things, I want this year, this final semester, this life to be at least a little perfect.
(~.~)
後悔變成習慣 這樣一個孤單的人 不適合愛吧
想把在我身上那些滿滿的你還給你
我 還是忘不了你
什麼是最讓人害怕的事呢?
就是....必須忘記.....
你知道嗎? 連哭的力氣都沒有了
人 就會笑了
Saturday, January 3, 2009
0_o
my new roxy wallet. Gosh...i cannot believe i bought that. But its just so pretty. Comes in black too. Was like standing there trying to pick which colour to buy cause white gets dirt easily. However elsa and julie agrre with me on white. Christies was onblack. Then the sales guy was like amuse at us picking a wallet and contribute his suggestion too. He likes white too. LOL~~~ well we had a great shopping day today.Went for movie. Bedtome stories. Its really nice. Four of us enjoyed ourself. LOL~~ We bought nail polish again. Julie had an upsad (upset??) stomach so she eat very little today. We had lunch at Secret Recipe. And the toilet....yep i spent RM1 on toilet. Hahaha...What else ah?? Em, Christie bought a shirt and Elsa her gry eye shadow. Then we bought food home. Going to meet up with Christie tomorrow and maybe Elsa. Christie is going to help me out on my crazy assignment. [off to give cuddly (teddy) his new ribbon]
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year
1) New Camera
2) Forever Friends Teddy
3) Successful diet
4) Better results
5) Adidas fighter uniform
6) More books
LOL..can think of more but then would not want to be too greedy 1st. Ahahahaha...actually that is quite a lot. Will post again after i finish chapter 2 of my thesis. Wish me luck on that.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
BOREDDDD!!!!
K...since me blogging...i have to just write down a few somethings through Terengganu experience. LOL.
1st day:
Arrive 9 something in Terengganu. Got on the bus and run through my GPS. Since is like so dark, (sarcastic) we used the GPS to see where we are and what are those places we saw and etc. 1st search was our hotel. Supposed to be something called MingStar Hotel. It was like not on the screen then rupa-rupanya its a mini hotel. Not bad actually. The lobby guy could speak fluent English. Yes i know me being sarcastic again but hey, you should at least know how to converse in English if ypou are working in a service sector. Got our room and checked-in. Next, looking for food. On our way to the hotel, we spotted Secret Recipe on the screen. So we search out looking for it. We used GPS again and hey we are near the red spot on the screen. That means that Secret Recipe is nearby. Then we go searching for bright red kedai with clear glass. Then Deenah spotted it first and like, "alamak, sebelah sahaja la". So we walk out stood in the middle of the road and stare. It is just right next door of our hotel and hell it does not look like secret recipe. Open in the frong looks like a kopitiam more. Since dad's friends took him out for dinner, me and my team search for food. A seafood restaurant called Tian Kee Seafood Restaurant. The workers there all wear yellow as their uniform. A bit different their mandarin. They d not know what is chinese tea but they know it as China tea. Ahahaha...K then after dinner drop by 7-11. bought mineral water and milo then bath then watch tv while sleeping. Ahahaha...
2nd day:
Got up, waited at the lobby have breakfast in the hotel's dining room since our stay includes breakfast. Ate some colourful rice, spicy but super sweet kueh teow, orange juices, and hangus scramble eggs. Not a recommended breakfast. Bus came then we weight-in. Just right, 67kgs. However, unfortunately, malangnya, i'm the only one in middle weight! All my effort of gaining weight is grrrrr.....then k la, i say me turun to welter, then also no one. Light also. Akhirnya, the heavy turun to middle. Accepted that. Bought some souvenirs then return to hotel. Look places for lunch then found out that Terengganu's weekends are Friday and Saturday. They really meant holidays. No shop buka la. Then we ask the hotel guy and he pointed a malay kopitiam. When there and they have like chicken rice and economic rice only which is not convincing.
waiter: "nak makan ape?"
me: "sini ada apa?"
waiter: "yang nila yang you nampak"
deenah: "bagi saya nasi ayam"
nara: "saya pun"
josephinna:"e, saya pun mau la"
(waiter looks amused with our slang)
Josephinna: "tapi saya mau paha ayam"
(waiter totally blank)
waiter: "ape itu"
deenah and me: "paha ayam"
(waiter still blur but then he realise)
waiter: "o peha ayam"
4 of us repeat: " oooo, pehe ayam"
deenah: "peha ayam ba"
waiter amused: "minum?"
deenah: "avacado juice ada ka?"
(waiter damn blur) deenah repeats. Then i told her avocado not easy to find here.
deenah: "bagi say milo suam la"
josephinna: "saya pun"
nara: "jus oren"
(waiter blur again)
deenah and me: "orange juice"
me: "milo kosong ais"
nara: "tidak mau oren la...milo air ping"
(me, deenah, josephinna blur)
(nara repeats)
3 of us: "ooo, milo ais"
(waiter totally amused)
then we heard othe waiter speaking: "orang Sabo le"
Ahahahaha....they amused, we amused everybody amused.
I drank up my drink and me and dad ate at the hotel since the food that does not attract him. Not that tasty. Food very sweet. And then sleep our afternoon off. Dad went to meeting me jaga his bilik then i did not follow them to Giant so me and dad have dinner at the seafood restaurant that day.
3rd day:
Competition day. me jadi penjaga beg. Hahahha...weird le. only the juniors competing. The announcer has this very thick semenanjung accent. LOL. Bought more stuff, i got more souvenirs, bought t-shirt, key chains, a new belt, mouth guard, sara's shoes, etc. After finishing, we when back to the hotel, rest awhile then go for dinner. Ate at that amusing shop again while dad goes off to dinner with his friends. Ahahahha...however the waiter cheated me. There was actually chopped pieces of green cili padi in my rice, and it turns out that nasi dagang is not tat tasty. Did not finish my food end up eating maggi in the room. Deenah joked with the waiter again by using these terengganu slang we learnt and asking for avocado juice again. It rained that night...for awhile. Just enough to get me and Deenah wet.
4th day:
Our turn to compete. I fought we this really heavy weight girl. 20kgs heavier then me. Scary la. Backache, assache and so on. Not her fault though. She is shorter the me a lot and heavier. So her weight on me is like a lorry. Ahahaha...funny match. She is like so heavy that when i kick her me terpantul balik and fell. LOL. However that day we managed 5 gold medals making a total of 6 gold medals out of seven participants. we bought keropoks on our way back to the hotel. Also we visited the crystal mosque with the Sarawak team. Its really pretty though. We missed the miniature world mosques since we were running out of time. We had this megah seafood dinner and it is actually cheap the food there. That day finish early so we like packed our bags b4 dinner.
5th day:
Got up at 5.30am. Reached LCCT 9 something. KFC again for lunch and breakfast. Reach kk almost 6. Damn flight delayed. So annoyed. we sort of like 12 hours in airport. Inside too cold, and outside like smoking zone. All of us slept in the airplane. But the row behind us is worst then the fishmongers. So noisy i mean really noisy and their kids like running around keep banging onto our seats and they were like having pesta mcdonald on the plane. Which part of no outside food allowed do they not understand. Geezzz....however, glad to be home.
Overall Terengganu is ok la. But hard to find food and shopping places. Chinese kopitiams there are totally halal. And no shops open on Friday and Saturday. Food there very sweet. No christmas decorations or songs.
LOL. Me think i need to gob ack to thesising. Nearly due date. wish me luck. sigh
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
exciting day
my beloved friends once again are back. Love them.
Ahahaha...watch twilight sudah...cool...it is actually nice cause it did not run off the storyline of the book.
Lunch with celina, mee choi and yee wen. Movie with them too. Unfortunately celina could not make it. So full la...hahaha....receive a lo of thoughtful gifts too. And unexpected greetings...will blog more soon. too sleepy now
Monday, December 1, 2008
sigh
However, I never wanted to say goodbye,
Because there is a saying,
when a person bids goodbye,
the person who cried the most, would not see each other again.
You make me keep silly promise,
I told you it is pointless,
I did not want to give you an unrealistic promise,
However you insist.
Then not long I started to realise,
All this while what you did or say is fake,
I blindly keep that promise,
Because that is me.
I hate myself for being that kind of person,
However you break it.
You make me feel useless again,
I thought all this while somebody needs me,
But then it was stupid.
Really stupid.
Now i feel cheated and disappointed,
What is the reason for a friend or lover?
Of everyone, why you?
Why must you crush me once again?
I told you that before,
but then you never did pay attention do you?
You were using me all this while,
Just like her.
Once again i start to mistrust my friends,
It makes me hard to trust anyone anymore.
you wish me belated today,
It makes me feel worst, stupid.
Then I was the one who did mistake,
therefore i accept this punishment,
As long you are happy then its fine.
For every new experience makes you a better lover.
Then I do not want to trust love anymore.
Thank you is all I can say.
And I decided to say goodbye now.
You should walk away never turn behind because its too late.
Treasure the life you have now.
Good luck and best wishes.
Do not contact me anymore if possible.
Cause you make everything worst.






