Chakra Zen Incantations
10 years ago
Friday, November 28, 2008
afternoon blog
Its afternoon alright. No one set a rule on blogging at home or during the night. So here am I in Coffee Bean with my "husband". Ahahaha....a cup of blended coffee is nice to spend my time throughout the day. Probably going training around 5pm later.
Hmm....ohya. was going to write about this morning's activities. As usual, got up early then breakfast at town with mummy and daddy. After that spent aroung 2 hours in a kopitiam with dad reading. Dun get me wrong, i was the one reading not dad. He was chi chatting with his friends. After that, we went to ums for students' marking thingy. The password was having trouble so we sort of like spent another 2 hours there while waiting.
Good news?? Well mum called during that 2 boring hours. NOt that bored actually cause i was reading while trying to answer the kind ladies chats and questions even though my eyes were like on the books. Damn i sound so rude. However, get back to mum's phone call. Apparently we can collect my "new baby" today. So vachel is going to take the car later.
Afer that had lunch with dad at another kopitiam. Yes, dad just loves kopitiams drinks and foods. The lady give me that alien look when i ask her to reduce the portion of my rice on my plate. Whats wrong with having litle rice. Hey i know the theory of rice is not fattening. Its all over magazines and newspapers articles. But to me rice is fattening in a sense that it makes a person heavy. However, those of you planning to fo on a diet, rice is ACTUALLY inportant you know. Ahahaha...those words coming form me seems wrong. It gives u a lot of energy to run your day.
Christie is back to KL this morning. I thought i was dreaming when she meassage me last night. I slept early last night. Around 8 something. Was having migraine. Jeez...
Hmm....ohya. was going to write about this morning's activities. As usual, got up early then breakfast at town with mummy and daddy. After that spent aroung 2 hours in a kopitiam with dad reading. Dun get me wrong, i was the one reading not dad. He was chi chatting with his friends. After that, we went to ums for students' marking thingy. The password was having trouble so we sort of like spent another 2 hours there while waiting.
Good news?? Well mum called during that 2 boring hours. NOt that bored actually cause i was reading while trying to answer the kind ladies chats and questions even though my eyes were like on the books. Damn i sound so rude. However, get back to mum's phone call. Apparently we can collect my "new baby" today. So vachel is going to take the car later.
Afer that had lunch with dad at another kopitiam. Yes, dad just loves kopitiams drinks and foods. The lady give me that alien look when i ask her to reduce the portion of my rice on my plate. Whats wrong with having litle rice. Hey i know the theory of rice is not fattening. Its all over magazines and newspapers articles. But to me rice is fattening in a sense that it makes a person heavy. However, those of you planning to fo on a diet, rice is ACTUALLY inportant you know. Ahahaha...those words coming form me seems wrong. It gives u a lot of energy to run your day.
Christie is back to KL this morning. I thought i was dreaming when she meassage me last night. I slept early last night. Around 8 something. Was having migraine. Jeez...
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
omg
Suddenly i have the urge to say this. "WHAT THE HECK HAPPEN THIS YEAR?" I do not actually recall this year's events. Its like something forgotten. I try to remember any special events but everything seems blur. I sort of like live my life chaotically. The good/bad, happy/sad or bored/fun life. I seem to forget things easily lately. I actually like forgot my phone 3 times in less then a week early this month. Head totally blank in exam. Forget a lot of appointments. Even forgot my lectures time and assignments. I also find it hard to remember what i say or done and go totally blank.
Geez. I was like trying to list out this years events but then i realize i could not even remember half of it. My problem of remembering people's name is getting worst. Damn it. I hope that brain exercise books i bought may help me with my memory power. Sigh. Strong wind and heavy rain suddenly. Think i shall hit the sack. Nights...
Geez. I was like trying to list out this years events but then i realize i could not even remember half of it. My problem of remembering people's name is getting worst. Damn it. I hope that brain exercise books i bought may help me with my memory power. Sigh. Strong wind and heavy rain suddenly. Think i shall hit the sack. Nights...
sick!!!
So tired today. I slept through the whole morning. I totally ache man. My thigh and butt really hurts. Its so hard walking not to mention stairs and toilets. Gee...But however its another good experience. Ahahahaha... ate a lot today. Getting fatter and this means its back to diet mode.
Sometimes i wonder why do i care so much on weight. Again why do people care so much about their weight, height, looks, etc etc...can't society just accept people the way they are? What's wrong being fat or tall or short or thin? Sigh, if people dun mind i dun think a guy or girl would bother dieting or losing weight, or even artificial surgeries, etc. If everyone is equal in everyone's eyes how nice would that be.
Discrimination...is that what it is? Ahahaha...been reading to much I think. Damn it. Why am i complaining when i myself am so concern with my weight and i feel guilty eating or drinking certain stuff. Then again.....
Another statement... love is a commitment for life. Hmm...i wonder how people see it? well not that i disagree..hell men i totally agree if not i would have flung myself at any men which i fancy. But the problem is...how would i know if i really love someone? Does the i miss that person so much and i want to see him everyday and crying fits the picture? Sort of experience that before and yet after a few years of not seeing or communicating it faded. So does the theory still implies? Next falling in love does include the sense of security right?? My dream man MUST have this quality you know like i feel safe and no worries around that person. But is hard to come by people like that. That must be an extremely high requirement. Loyalty and trust must fit it somewhere too. Jeez, I dun really understand it myself.
I'll think more of that issue; one day when i am ready maybe I will understand it. Today, a waitress cought me red handed murdering the poor pile of butter. Ahahaha...i just out of normal reaction stab the butter in the middle with a knife and the waitress was like stunt then ask if me and Celina are done with our meal. Ahahaha...i myself look embaressed i think. Celina say the look of my face was priceless. Ahahaha...interesting day today. That salesman cheated again. I was not able to have a peek on my "baby". He gave weird excuses again.
I think i have lots of spelling error. I seem to be sleepy today. Keep dozing off every minute i get. Ahahaha...and again laughing to myself. My nose irritationis uncomfortable too. Makes me dizzy.
Sometimes i wonder why do i care so much on weight. Again why do people care so much about their weight, height, looks, etc etc...can't society just accept people the way they are? What's wrong being fat or tall or short or thin? Sigh, if people dun mind i dun think a guy or girl would bother dieting or losing weight, or even artificial surgeries, etc. If everyone is equal in everyone's eyes how nice would that be.
Discrimination...is that what it is? Ahahaha...been reading to much I think. Damn it. Why am i complaining when i myself am so concern with my weight and i feel guilty eating or drinking certain stuff. Then again.....
Another statement... love is a commitment for life. Hmm...i wonder how people see it? well not that i disagree..hell men i totally agree if not i would have flung myself at any men which i fancy. But the problem is...how would i know if i really love someone? Does the i miss that person so much and i want to see him everyday and crying fits the picture? Sort of experience that before and yet after a few years of not seeing or communicating it faded. So does the theory still implies? Next falling in love does include the sense of security right?? My dream man MUST have this quality you know like i feel safe and no worries around that person. But is hard to come by people like that. That must be an extremely high requirement. Loyalty and trust must fit it somewhere too. Jeez, I dun really understand it myself.
I'll think more of that issue; one day when i am ready maybe I will understand it. Today, a waitress cought me red handed murdering the poor pile of butter. Ahahaha...i just out of normal reaction stab the butter in the middle with a knife and the waitress was like stunt then ask if me and Celina are done with our meal. Ahahaha...i myself look embaressed i think. Celina say the look of my face was priceless. Ahahaha...interesting day today. That salesman cheated again. I was not able to have a peek on my "baby". He gave weird excuses again.
I think i have lots of spelling error. I seem to be sleepy today. Keep dozing off every minute i get. Ahahaha...and again laughing to myself. My nose irritationis uncomfortable too. Makes me dizzy.
Monday, November 24, 2008
0_o
Damn tired. My whole body is aching so badly as if i have been hit by an enormous lorry. Sigh...have not bee n doing it in a long time and look what i got myself into. Tired and aching body. I actually prefer to sit then to stand today. Ahahahaha....weird. However i have not been enjoying my holidays as i had plan. only 3 days of it and i am damn bored. Today is exceptional la. Me and Christie did a mini shopping spree. Our tradition. Just the two of us. Well she llok totally happy which is fine for me while i am dragging my sorry ass out of bed. We had lunch with Elisa.
Just came back not long ago after meeting up and having dinner with Chyi shuang. I miss her a lot. Its nice talking with her. Just seem so normal. We cna chat about anything. Sigh. Now my neck hurts. Oh no... I hope i would be able to move tomorrow to see my "big baby" as Tie name it. Still thinking a lot lately. I keep persuating myself everything is fine but it doesn't seem so. Everything seems off to me lately.
Today too, i bought "Cuddly" new ribbons. And i hope he love it. Weel its the same colour but much more better then his current one which is in a bad shape. I must really be a bad sleeper for killing his ribbon. =) Finish a book today. Might do a mini review sooner or later. Hmmm....what else again ah?
Supprisingly i feel quite sleepy now. A very good sign that my biological clock is recovering. I have been like sleeping at 4 or 5am for 3 weeks and now i can't just a have a good night sleep. However that not the case here. OH NO...i fall asleep. Must be really bad. I;m off to sleep then. Nitey~
Just came back not long ago after meeting up and having dinner with Chyi shuang. I miss her a lot. Its nice talking with her. Just seem so normal. We cna chat about anything. Sigh. Now my neck hurts. Oh no... I hope i would be able to move tomorrow to see my "big baby" as Tie name it. Still thinking a lot lately. I keep persuating myself everything is fine but it doesn't seem so. Everything seems off to me lately.
Today too, i bought "Cuddly" new ribbons. And i hope he love it. Weel its the same colour but much more better then his current one which is in a bad shape. I must really be a bad sleeper for killing his ribbon. =) Finish a book today. Might do a mini review sooner or later. Hmmm....what else again ah?
Supprisingly i feel quite sleepy now. A very good sign that my biological clock is recovering. I have been like sleeping at 4 or 5am for 3 weeks and now i can't just a have a good night sleep. However that not the case here. OH NO...i fall asleep. Must be really bad. I;m off to sleep then. Nitey~
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
心の声
月曜日です。雨が降っています。今日 私は非常に不可解に感じる。私の中心は傷を感じる。その気持ちいは。。。。私ぜんぜん理解しない。悲しくない, 寂びしくない。。。これはどんな感じであるか。ちがう！どうかして,私は私が知っていることを考える。それはそんなに傷つく！私は叫びたい気がする。私は私が元気づけ、強く、そして常に微笑すると自分自身に約束する。でもね、それは使用ではない。。。私は失敗である。どうしよう？この悲しい感じはなくならない。私はより多くの時間を必要とする。 私はこの不可解な感じがなくなることを望む。 今調査するその時間。
Monday, November 10, 2008
WAR!!!!
Sigh, tomorrow the war begins. At 2.00pm i will be facing my trial. Gee....ahahahha...going to war with pens and ruler. Damn it. I have not finish preparing myself. Am i too succeed and move forward or killed in that battle field??? Will i not face communication full heartedly if international finance falls??? is that Dr. Wong's field my last survivor hope to continue the battle till the 21st??? I'm prepared to shoot my way through but unfortunately its not MCQ its some damn essays. 25 marks per question (*bangs head on wall*)
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Farewell teddies
My bears and I had a meeting last night,
It was our final date. I had to say farewell to them.
"Cause I cannot bear to see them anymore"
The day had finally come
to pack them away,
I guess that it is time to forget;
and they were in the way
My teddies has always been so neat;
the toys i liked the best.
I never thought that I'd be forced,
to put them to rest
But as we all begin to forget and move on,
some things don't go our way
and many times we feel sad,
so sad that we can't keep it
That's how i felt when i saw the note;
Time is passing by,
so i asked them out for a date
I'm sure they wonder why.
I had to have a talk with them;
as private as could be
there were so many things to say
between just them and me.
I thanked them for their many hugs
and their great listening ears;
for all the nights they kept me warm
and helped remove my fears.
They always had such smiling eyes
so precious and so dear;
but this time as I reached for them
I thought I saw tears.
Could I have touched their little heart
and caused my bear to cry?
with feelings so emotional
I thought I hear them sigh.
I rubbed my eyes in disbelief
then recognized that they are fine.
The tear had fallen from my cheek
it wasn't theirs, but mine.
I looked at them and stared
maybe they understand,
my bears were not some old stuffed toy
they were my dearest friends.
I gathered them on my piano stool,
and hugged them oh so tight.
then packed them in a plastic bag,
and gently said, "Goodnight."
So many thoughts came to my mind
as I hopped into bed and cry.
First came glorious memories
then worry filled my head.
I hope they do not mind the dark,
the dampness or the cold.
they seemed so weak and frail,
without my soft bed and hugs.
But this was just a teddy bear
how could you feel this way
it made me think of an old saying,
"All things must pass away."
I felt a sense of loneliness
and kind of insecure.
My bears had brought me hours of joy
so innocent and pure.
To give them up was very sad
and seemed a bit unfair,
yet that's the way life had us part
my friend, my love, my bear.
I hope that they'll remember me
when I am old and gray;
'cause I may need them once again
to help me through the day.
I'm sorry for being selfish,
that's all I could say.
But seeing them,
brings sad memories back.
Maybe they would not mind,
because they know my secrets;
I might have been cheated,
and looking at them hurts.
It was our final date. I had to say farewell to them.
"Cause I cannot bear to see them anymore"
The day had finally come
to pack them away,
I guess that it is time to forget;
and they were in the way
My teddies has always been so neat;
the toys i liked the best.
I never thought that I'd be forced,
to put them to rest
But as we all begin to forget and move on,
some things don't go our way
and many times we feel sad,
so sad that we can't keep it
That's how i felt when i saw the note;
Time is passing by,
so i asked them out for a date
I'm sure they wonder why.
I had to have a talk with them;
as private as could be
there were so many things to say
between just them and me.
I thanked them for their many hugs
and their great listening ears;
for all the nights they kept me warm
and helped remove my fears.
They always had such smiling eyes
so precious and so dear;
but this time as I reached for them
I thought I saw tears.
Could I have touched their little heart
and caused my bear to cry?
with feelings so emotional
I thought I hear them sigh.
I rubbed my eyes in disbelief
then recognized that they are fine.
The tear had fallen from my cheek
it wasn't theirs, but mine.
I looked at them and stared
maybe they understand,
my bears were not some old stuffed toy
they were my dearest friends.
I gathered them on my piano stool,
and hugged them oh so tight.
then packed them in a plastic bag,
and gently said, "Goodnight."
So many thoughts came to my mind
as I hopped into bed and cry.
First came glorious memories
then worry filled my head.
I hope they do not mind the dark,
the dampness or the cold.
they seemed so weak and frail,
without my soft bed and hugs.
But this was just a teddy bear
how could you feel this way
it made me think of an old saying,
"All things must pass away."
I felt a sense of loneliness
and kind of insecure.
My bears had brought me hours of joy
so innocent and pure.
To give them up was very sad
and seemed a bit unfair,
yet that's the way life had us part
my friend, my love, my bear.
I hope that they'll remember me
when I am old and gray;
'cause I may need them once again
to help me through the day.
I'm sorry for being selfish,
that's all I could say.
But seeing them,
brings sad memories back.
Maybe they would not mind,
because they know my secrets;
I might have been cheated,
and looking at them hurts.
I read a poem something like that awhile ago. And decided i should used a bit to write my own. Thou its bad writing but then it will be something i greatly regret.
forever friends teddy
I have been lovingly hand-crafted to meet all safety requirement;
I do no like washing machines and tumble dryers,
but I like being wiped with warm damp flannel,
and being left to dry naturally;
If my fur goes flat, I do not mind being brushed gently;
as long as I get a hug afterward
I do no like washing machines and tumble dryers,
but I like being wiped with warm damp flannel,
and being left to dry naturally;
If my fur goes flat, I do not mind being brushed gently;
as long as I get a hug afterward
My new beloved. Hehehe...isn't it pretty? A pure hallmark bear. Well teddy here is about 16 inches tall. Unfortunately i have not weight it yet. But it is super fluffy (fat). It has a little "bulu" problem which i think eventually will stop. Hohoho...Most expensive teddy i've got and bought. Gone my money for this month. He is to to replace the other teddies who acompany me during my sleepness night.
The Best of Friends
Jeannie Hand-Stuart
There's nothing as nice
As a new Teddy Bear.
To tickle and cuddle
And take everywhere
To share all your secrets,
Your laughter and tears
To keep by your side
Through seasons and years.
There's nothing as nice
As a new Teddy Bear...
Except for an old one
With memories to share.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
free...
I'm free??? I can't believe it. Its really a miracle. =) Guys. Sigh...all the same not one is different. My impression on men is getting worst. However, at least i'm free now. Having trouble with sleeping. What people call it? Imsonia? Or whatever u call it. Wonder what to do with the teddies. hmm...
Sunday, November 2, 2008
swirly
grrr....my photoshop really sux. But was just trying out how those brushes works. Toilet shot. Was trying to see what is so fascinating about taking pictures in toilet. Hahahaha...as you can see, i was trying to get rid of that shower. But failed. =(. However snapping self pic in toilets means you get to see yourself in the mirror. Hahaha...stupid and weird but fun
0_o
Boring afternoon. Can't seem to pay any attention to what i am trying to study and understand. Bored. Mood totally horrible. Hormones must be naughty today. However i've been thinking lately. Everyone's existence in this world at certain time has their own purpose. I've ask myself a lot of times. Why was I born in this time of the century and place? Maybe there is something that should be done with my appearance and existence here. When we complete or accomplish the things that we are suppose to do, does that means that it is time for us to go? Meeting certain people at a certain time and place, is it fate or coincidence? Why to we meet certain people? Stupid right this kind of thoughts? What makes a person happy and completed? Success? Fame? Money? Love? Career? I don't seem to find any answer. L just concluded it as it depends on the person's reason of existence and personality. Is that true?
I must be thinking to much then. How do we know if we successfully finish our purpose of existence? When a person seen flashes of events (maybe memories), what does it means? Is it something that happen before and one has forgotten it? Or future events they we need to know in order to be prepare? Past life? Well i don't believe in that so my assumptions still stay the same. Past or future. Why one person reacts strongly to another person? Why first impression is always right? I feel like a little kid asking his.her parents the why ad how questions when they get curious. Have you ever sit quietly then have this strange feelings of urgency or grief? Do you feel people's aura or mood? When anything like that ever happen do have the sense of lost and loneliness? Or feeling nervous or anxious like something bad is going happen? Do u sit and feel that something is missing? What are the explanation to this? Sigh
I must be thinking to much then. How do we know if we successfully finish our purpose of existence? When a person seen flashes of events (maybe memories), what does it means? Is it something that happen before and one has forgotten it? Or future events they we need to know in order to be prepare? Past life? Well i don't believe in that so my assumptions still stay the same. Past or future. Why one person reacts strongly to another person? Why first impression is always right? I feel like a little kid asking his.her parents the why ad how questions when they get curious. Have you ever sit quietly then have this strange feelings of urgency or grief? Do you feel people's aura or mood? When anything like that ever happen do have the sense of lost and loneliness? Or feeling nervous or anxious like something bad is going happen? Do u sit and feel that something is missing? What are the explanation to this? Sigh
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