Monday, February 16, 2009

thoughts & ponder

I was reading this book, that talks about a person's self. Well, according to that book, it states that people only attracts the kind of people who portraits themselves.

A person who usually call others a bitch is a bitch themselves. Bitch id define as below:

n.
  1. A female canine animal, especially a dog.
  2. Offensive.
    1. A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.
    2. A lewd woman.
    3. A man considered to be weak or contemptible.
  3. Slang. A complaint.
  4. Slang. Something very unpleasant or difficult.

v. Slang., bitched, bitch·ing, bitch·es. v.intr.

To complain; grumble.

v.tr.

To botch; bungle. Often used with up.

This term is frequently used as a term for a malicious, spiteful, domineering, intrusive, or unpleasant person, especially a woman --> wikipedia.


LOL~~it actually make sense. We humans sometimes find it hard to differentiate each other. However, example, female dogs, they seem to be able to identify other bitch. From my perspective, people who tend to used this kind of term are some immature kids between 12 to 17, if westerners, i think under the age of 12 too. Or else, really pissed off women fighting or quarreling with another pissed off women. Jealous women or girls too. And when men scolded or criticize women or girls they despise. Well however, i am sure it is used in many ways. Just something that past through my thoughts when i was reading that book. LOL~~ thank God i dun usually call people bitch. Its quite lowly actually. But sometimes it just seems to blurt out of one's mouth. Next time if i accidentally blurt it out, i will reconsider. LOL~~no offense please, just a random thought.


Saturday, February 14, 2009

From Christie

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!



IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Here by Me - 3 Doors down

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Day Past A Child - Christopher Jak

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
My Love (Feat. T.I) - Justin Timberlake

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
You're beautiful - James Blunt

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Rule the World - Take That

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
What a Girl Wants - Christina Aguilera

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Irreplaceable - Beyonce

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Lauryn Hill

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Say Cheese - KC

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Like I Love You - Justin Timberlake

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Love Song - Sara Bareilles

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
I Finally Found Someone - Bryan Adams & Barbara Streisand

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Knocks off My Feet - Tevin Campbell

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Runaway - The Corrs

WHAT WILL/DID YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Too Much Heaven - Bee Gees

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Could i Have This Kiss Forever - Whitney Houston & Enrique Iglesias

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Wine Up - Kat Deluna ft Elephant Man

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
This is How You Remind Me - Nickelback

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Straight Lines - Silverchair

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Smack That - Akon Eminem

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Home - Chris Daughtry


p/s: Tie...i actually found songs that i seldom hear but is in the hard disc. LOL~~

Some weird poem

Sex Without Love
Sharon Olds

How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health—just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time.


Came through this poem when I was taking English literature during my first year of university. It was actually behind the page of another poem the lecturer pass out.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

pictures of CNY 2009

US

LAU SANG

JULIE

ELSA

CHRISTIE

These were our random pictures of the past few days of CNY hangouts. Towards the end, i think our pictures got more crazier and LOL~~~

Thursday, January 22, 2009

bored

I've been trying to keep myself busy lately. I need distractions. Otherwise, I end up like now. Thinking. Its not a crime to think but when thoughts wonder far away, there is always something. Keeping myself busy tends to stop me from thinking. Thinking about stuff like the past, present and future. About friendship, betrayal, lost and so on.

There you go. A need to write out what I am thinking. The "I am BUSY" becomes my slogan or motto now. I am actually that busy and tired that I do not have any time to train or hang out with friends as usual. My time management sux. Everything is a rush. Studies, revisions, assignments, thesis, and so on becomes my daily life. Most of my time i spent in uni. Earliest would be like 6.50am then all the way to 5.00pm. Reach home rest awhile then study again or revision or read or anything as long as i do not have time.

I thought of the past years. Last year was a pleasant but horrid year too for me. When friends turned out not to be the friends you expected, where back-stabbers and hypocrites exist in any relationship be it love, friends, family, etc. Where self-esteem is totally hancur, confidence and all those. When i finally come out from my shell i am then force to be my usual introvert behavior again. Confidence also gone. Self-conscious is strongly affecting me and so on. Thinks I wanna say but no one could understand and the thought of burdening people with all my problem is not helping either. Sometimes i get tired of life.

When a friend do not treat you as a friend anymore or maybe never actually treated you as one, just to draw on attention and so on, a person will actually feel used. When the thought of finally being needed is actually a lie, it shattered everything. Why cannot people be honest and straight-forward? why people cannot just get straight to the point? Why is sincerity and integrity extinct from the world? I actually thought of crying but when one does not even have the energy to cry or think anymore, the head/brain is actually blank. And then self-entertainment which means laughing and smiling a lot just to hide the sorrow, sadness, loneliness or whatever is a natural action to prevent people from seeing through its weakness. Thats me nowadays.

I made myself busier now by actually taking an audit course. And then today i finally decided to change the audit course into and elective course which means over limit of credit hours. 24 credit hours this semester. What am i doing also i am not sure. As long as my mind do not wonders anything will do. However I just wanna apologize if i keep refusing to join my friends in any outings because I'm really tired and the lack of mood is not there. I have not the enough time to spare. After failure in a lot of things, I want this year, this final semester, this life to be at least a little perfect.

(~.~)

每次都要失去了 才會知道多麼重要
後悔變成習慣 這樣一個孤單的人 不適合愛吧


想把在我身上那些滿滿的你還給你
我 還是忘不了你


什麼是最讓人害怕的事呢?
就是....必須忘記.....


你知道嗎? 連哭的力氣都沒有了
人 就會笑了

Saturday, January 3, 2009

0_o

my new roxy wallet. Gosh...i cannot believe i bought that. But its just so pretty. Comes in black too. Was like standing there trying to pick which colour to buy cause white gets dirt easily. However elsa and julie agrre with me on white. Christies was onblack. Then the sales guy was like amuse at us picking a wallet and contribute his suggestion too. He likes white too. LOL~~~ well we had a great shopping day today.

Went for movie. Bedtome stories. Its really nice. Four of us enjoyed ourself. LOL~~ We bought nail polish again. Julie had an upsad (upset??) stomach so she eat very little today. We had lunch at Secret Recipe. And the toilet....yep i spent RM1 on toilet. Hahaha...What else ah?? Em, Christie bought a shirt and Elsa her gry eye shadow. Then we bought food home. Going to meet up with Christie tomorrow and maybe Elsa. Christie is going to help me out on my crazy assignment. [off to give cuddly (teddy) his new ribbon]

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

Its 2009! LOL....Well been planning to blog since that Terengganu post but always lazy. So its the 1st of January 2009 today. Sitting at Coffee Bean now with Julie and Vachel. Helping out Julie with her laptop and suppose to help Vachel with his slides. Went back to Papar this morning. I actually climb TWO hills. Which I am very proud of. Scary but adventurous. People will laugh out loudly if they saw those hills because maybe to them its just a tiny winy hill but to me...LOL~~~ Class begins tomorrow i think. Well my 2009 wish list prolly would be something like this:

1) New Camera
2) Forever Friends Teddy
3) Successful diet
4) Better results
5) Adidas fighter uniform
6) More books

LOL..can think of more but then would not want to be too greedy 1st. Ahahahaha...actually that is quite a lot. Will post again after i finish chapter 2 of my thesis. Wish me luck on that.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

BOREDDDD!!!!

Yes me is super duper bored. LOL. Wat the heck am I doing blogging while me spose to do my thesis??? Here me is blank staring at the screen. I hate exchange rates. Still could not believe me such a fool for choosing that thesis instead of practical. OMG...speaking like a cartoon that I just watch forgotten the name of it. Using me instead of I. Got it through flipping through the tv in Terengganu. Home line total horrid.

K...since me blogging...i have to just write down a few somethings through Terengganu experience. LOL.

1st day:
Arrive 9 something in Terengganu. Got on the bus and run through my GPS. Since is like so dark, (sarcastic) we used the GPS to see where we are and what are those places we saw and etc. 1st search was our hotel. Supposed to be something called MingStar Hotel. It was like not on the screen then rupa-rupanya its a mini hotel. Not bad actually. The lobby guy could speak fluent English. Yes i know me being sarcastic again but hey, you should at least know how to converse in English if ypou are working in a service sector. Got our room and checked-in. Next, looking for food. On our way to the hotel, we spotted Secret Recipe on the screen. So we search out looking for it. We used GPS again and hey we are near the red spot on the screen. That means that Secret Recipe is nearby. Then we go searching for bright red kedai with clear glass. Then Deenah spotted it first and like, "alamak, sebelah sahaja la". So we walk out stood in the middle of the road and stare. It is just right next door of our hotel and hell it does not look like secret recipe. Open in the frong looks like a kopitiam more. Since dad's friends took him out for dinner, me and my team search for food. A seafood restaurant called Tian Kee Seafood Restaurant. The workers there all wear yellow as their uniform. A bit different their mandarin. They d not know what is chinese tea but they know it as China tea. Ahahaha...K then after dinner drop by 7-11. bought mineral water and milo then bath then watch tv while sleeping. Ahahaha...

2nd day:
Got up, waited at the lobby have breakfast in the hotel's dining room since our stay includes breakfast. Ate some colourful rice, spicy but super sweet kueh teow, orange juices, and hangus scramble eggs. Not a recommended breakfast. Bus came then we weight-in. Just right, 67kgs. However, unfortunately, malangnya, i'm the only one in middle weight! All my effort of gaining weight is grrrrr.....then k la, i say me turun to welter, then also no one. Light also. Akhirnya, the heavy turun to middle. Accepted that. Bought some souvenirs then return to hotel. Look places for lunch then found out that Terengganu's weekends are Friday and Saturday. They really meant holidays. No shop buka la. Then we ask the hotel guy and he pointed a malay kopitiam. When there and they have like chicken rice and economic rice only which is not convincing.

waiter: "nak makan ape?"
me: "sini ada apa?"
waiter: "yang nila yang you nampak"
deenah: "bagi saya nasi ayam"
nara: "saya pun"
josephinna:"e, saya pun mau la"
(waiter looks amused with our slang)
Josephinna: "tapi saya mau paha ayam"
(waiter totally blank)
waiter: "ape itu"
deenah and me: "paha ayam"
(waiter still blur but then he realise)
waiter: "o peha ayam"
4 of us repeat: " oooo, pehe ayam"
deenah: "peha ayam ba"
waiter amused: "minum?"
deenah: "avacado juice ada ka?"
(waiter damn blur) deenah repeats. Then i told her avocado not easy to find here.
deenah: "bagi say milo suam la"
josephinna: "saya pun"
nara: "jus oren"
(waiter blur again)
deenah and me: "orange juice"
me: "milo kosong ais"
nara: "tidak mau oren la...milo air ping"
(me, deenah, josephinna blur)
(nara repeats)
3 of us: "ooo, milo ais"
(waiter totally amused)
then we heard othe waiter speaking: "orang Sabo le"

Ahahahaha....they amused, we amused everybody amused.

I drank up my drink and me and dad ate at the hotel since the food that does not attract him. Not that tasty. Food very sweet. And then sleep our afternoon off. Dad went to meeting me jaga his bilik then i did not follow them to Giant so me and dad have dinner at the seafood restaurant that day.

3rd day:
Competition day. me jadi penjaga beg. Hahahha...weird le. only the juniors competing. The announcer has this very thick semenanjung accent. LOL. Bought more stuff, i got more souvenirs, bought t-shirt, key chains, a new belt, mouth guard, sara's shoes, etc. After finishing, we when back to the hotel, rest awhile then go for dinner. Ate at that amusing shop again while dad goes off to dinner with his friends. Ahahahha...however the waiter cheated me. There was actually chopped pieces of green cili padi in my rice, and it turns out that nasi dagang is not tat tasty. Did not finish my food end up eating maggi in the room. Deenah joked with the waiter again by using these terengganu slang we learnt and asking for avocado juice again. It rained that night...for awhile. Just enough to get me and Deenah wet.

4th day:
Our turn to compete. I fought we this really heavy weight girl. 20kgs heavier then me. Scary la. Backache, assache and so on. Not her fault though. She is shorter the me a lot and heavier. So her weight on me is like a lorry. Ahahaha...funny match. She is like so heavy that when i kick her me terpantul balik and fell. LOL. However that day we managed 5 gold medals making a total of 6 gold medals out of seven participants. we bought keropoks on our way back to the hotel. Also we visited the crystal mosque with the Sarawak team. Its really pretty though. We missed the miniature world mosques since we were running out of time. We had this megah seafood dinner and it is actually cheap the food there. That day finish early so we like packed our bags b4 dinner.

5th day:
Got up at 5.30am. Reached LCCT 9 something. KFC again for lunch and breakfast. Reach kk almost 6. Damn flight delayed. So annoyed. we sort of like 12 hours in airport. Inside too cold, and outside like smoking zone. All of us slept in the airplane. But the row behind us is worst then the fishmongers. So noisy i mean really noisy and their kids like running around keep banging onto our seats and they were like having pesta mcdonald on the plane. Which part of no outside food allowed do they not understand. Geezzz....however, glad to be home.

Overall Terengganu is ok la. But hard to find food and shopping places. Chinese kopitiams there are totally halal. And no shops open on Friday and Saturday. Food there very sweet. No christmas decorations or songs.

LOL. Me think i need to gob ack to thesising. Nearly due date. wish me luck. sigh

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

2 pictures from my bday dinner...

Four of us


Group photo

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

exciting day

today is cool. Hang out with friends and dinner.
my beloved friends once again are back. Love them.
Ahahaha...watch twilight sudah...cool...it is actually nice cause it did not run off the storyline of the book.
Lunch with celina, mee choi and yee wen. Movie with them too. Unfortunately celina could not make it. So full la...hahaha....receive a lo of thoughtful gifts too. And unexpected greetings...will blog more soon. too sleepy now

Monday, December 1, 2008

sigh

Did not wanna mention this,
However, I never wanted to say goodbye,
Because there is a saying,
when a person bids goodbye,
the person who cried the most, would not see each other again.

You make me keep silly promise,
I told you it is pointless,
I did not want to give you an unrealistic promise,
However you insist.

Then not long I started to realise,
All this while what you did or say is fake,
I blindly keep that promise,
Because that is me.
I hate myself for being that kind of person,
However you break it.

You make me feel useless again,
I thought all this while somebody needs me,
But then it was stupid.
Really stupid.
Now i feel cheated and disappointed,
What is the reason for a friend or lover?

Of everyone, why you?
Why must you crush me once again?
I told you that before,
but then you never did pay attention do you?
You were using me all this while,
Just like her.

Once again i start to mistrust my friends,
It makes me hard to trust anyone anymore.
you wish me belated today,
It makes me feel worst, stupid.

Then I was the one who did mistake,
therefore i accept this punishment,
As long you are happy then its fine.
For every new experience makes you a better lover.
Then I do not want to trust love anymore.
Thank you is all I can say.

And I decided to say goodbye now.
You should walk away never turn behind because its too late.
Treasure the life you have now.
Good luck and best wishes.
Do not contact me anymore if possible.
Cause you make everything worst.

Friday, November 28, 2008

sony T77



was browsing through my dream camera and came across this!!!

afternoon blog

Its afternoon alright. No one set a rule on blogging at home or during the night. So here am I in Coffee Bean with my "husband". Ahahaha....a cup of blended coffee is nice to spend my time throughout the day. Probably going training around 5pm later.

Hmm....ohya. was going to write about this morning's activities. As usual, got up early then breakfast at town with mummy and daddy. After that spent aroung 2 hours in a kopitiam with dad reading. Dun get me wrong, i was the one reading not dad. He was chi chatting with his friends. After that, we went to ums for students' marking thingy. The password was having trouble so we sort of like spent another 2 hours there while waiting.

Good news?? Well mum called during that 2 boring hours. NOt that bored actually cause i was reading while trying to answer the kind ladies chats and questions even though my eyes were like on the books. Damn i sound so rude. However, get back to mum's phone call. Apparently we can collect my "new baby" today. So vachel is going to take the car later.

Afer that had lunch with dad at another kopitiam. Yes, dad just loves kopitiams drinks and foods. The lady give me that alien look when i ask her to reduce the portion of my rice on my plate. Whats wrong with having litle rice. Hey i know the theory of rice is not fattening. Its all over magazines and newspapers articles. But to me rice is fattening in a sense that it makes a person heavy. However, those of you planning to fo on a diet, rice is ACTUALLY inportant you know. Ahahaha...those words coming form me seems wrong. It gives u a lot of energy to run your day.

Christie is back to KL this morning. I thought i was dreaming when she meassage me last night. I slept early last night. Around 8 something. Was having migraine. Jeez...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

omg

Suddenly i have the urge to say this. "WHAT THE HECK HAPPEN THIS YEAR?" I do not actually recall this year's events. Its like something forgotten. I try to remember any special events but everything seems blur. I sort of like live my life chaotically. The good/bad, happy/sad or bored/fun life. I seem to forget things easily lately. I actually like forgot my phone 3 times in less then a week early this month. Head totally blank in exam. Forget a lot of appointments. Even forgot my lectures time and assignments. I also find it hard to remember what i say or done and go totally blank.

Geez. I was like trying to list out this years events but then i realize i could not even remember half of it. My problem of remembering people's name is getting worst. Damn it. I hope that brain exercise books i bought may help me with my memory power. Sigh. Strong wind and heavy rain suddenly. Think i shall hit the sack. Nights...

sick!!!

So tired today. I slept through the whole morning. I totally ache man. My thigh and butt really hurts. Its so hard walking not to mention stairs and toilets. Gee...But however its another good experience. Ahahahaha... ate a lot today. Getting fatter and this means its back to diet mode.

Sometimes i wonder why do i care so much on weight. Again why do people care so much about their weight, height, looks, etc etc...can't society just accept people the way they are? What's wrong being fat or tall or short or thin? Sigh, if people dun mind i dun think a guy or girl would bother dieting or losing weight, or even artificial surgeries, etc. If everyone is equal in everyone's eyes how nice would that be.

Discrimination...is that what it is? Ahahaha...been reading to much I think. Damn it. Why am i complaining when i myself am so concern with my weight and i feel guilty eating or drinking certain stuff. Then again.....

Another statement... love is a commitment for life. Hmm...i wonder how people see it? well not that i disagree..hell men i totally agree if not i would have flung myself at any men which i fancy. But the problem is...how would i know if i really love someone? Does the i miss that person so much and i want to see him everyday and crying fits the picture? Sort of experience that before and yet after a few years of not seeing or communicating it faded. So does the theory still implies? Next falling in love does include the sense of security right?? My dream man MUST have this quality you know like i feel safe and no worries around that person. But is hard to come by people like that. That must be an extremely high requirement. Loyalty and trust must fit it somewhere too. Jeez, I dun really understand it myself.

I'll think more of that issue; one day when i am ready maybe I will understand it. Today, a waitress cought me red handed murdering the poor pile of butter. Ahahaha...i just out of normal reaction stab the butter in the middle with a knife and the waitress was like stunt then ask if me and Celina are done with our meal. Ahahaha...i myself look embaressed i think. Celina say the look of my face was priceless. Ahahaha...interesting day today. That salesman cheated again. I was not able to have a peek on my "baby". He gave weird excuses again.

I think i have lots of spelling error. I seem to be sleepy today. Keep dozing off every minute i get. Ahahaha...and again laughing to myself. My nose irritationis uncomfortable too. Makes me dizzy.

Monday, November 24, 2008

0_o

Damn tired. My whole body is aching so badly as if i have been hit by an enormous lorry. Sigh...have not bee n doing it in a long time and look what i got myself into. Tired and aching body. I actually prefer to sit then to stand today. Ahahahaha....weird. However i have not been enjoying my holidays as i had plan. only 3 days of it and i am damn bored. Today is exceptional la. Me and Christie did a mini shopping spree. Our tradition. Just the two of us. Well she llok totally happy which is fine for me while i am dragging my sorry ass out of bed. We had lunch with Elisa.

Just came back not long ago after meeting up and having dinner with Chyi shuang. I miss her a lot. Its nice talking with her. Just seem so normal. We cna chat about anything. Sigh. Now my neck hurts. Oh no... I hope i would be able to move tomorrow to see my "big baby" as Tie name it. Still thinking a lot lately. I keep persuating myself everything is fine but it doesn't seem so. Everything seems off to me lately.

Today too, i bought "Cuddly" new ribbons. And i hope he love it. Weel its the same colour but much more better then his current one which is in a bad shape. I must really be a bad sleeper for killing his ribbon. =) Finish a book today. Might do a mini review sooner or later. Hmmm....what else again ah?

Supprisingly i feel quite sleepy now. A very good sign that my biological clock is recovering. I have been like sleeping at 4 or 5am for 3 weeks and now i can't just a have a good night sleep. However that not the case here. OH NO...i fall asleep. Must be really bad. I;m off to sleep then. Nitey~

Thursday, November 20, 2008

わかっていたはず

通り過ぎる 恋人たちの笑い声
胸をしめつける
雨上がりの 週末の午後なのに
私 一人 街を歩く
そばにいたいのに

そんなこと わかっていたはず
好きになれば なっただけ
苦しむこと

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

ありあとう

ジュリちゃん、ありがとう。私は大丈夫です。もう少し時間をあげてください!

たいへんね

今日の試験はあまりむずかしくなかたです。安心じゃないよ!おなかがいったいです。ざんねんね。今はねたいですよ。じゃ おやすみ。